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GROUP is not a self-help book. It is a well-documented look at a woman who is honest, determined, and loving. She generously shares her warmth, humor, and most painful secrets. The author lets you in to her relationships and to her gradually developing bond with Dr. Rosen and circle of once strangers, now friends who aid in her transformation. Tate documents her alternately loving and confrontational encounters with fellow group members, but most of the book focuses on her many attempts to find the perfect man. Consequently, it often reads like a romance novel, with lines like, “When he pressed his perfect lips against mine, I swallowed starlight.”.

Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life By Christie Tate

Summary

A REESE’S BOOK CLUB PICK AND INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “Often hilarious and ultimately very touching.” —People “Have you ever read a book that made you want to hug the author?” —Reese Witherspoon “This unrestrained memoir is a transporting experience and one of the most startlingly hopeful books I have ever read.” —Lisa Taddeo, New York Times bestselling author of Three Women The refreshingly original debut memoir of a guarded, over-achieving, self-lacerating young lawyer who reluctantly agrees to get psychologically and emotionally naked in a room of six complete strangers—her psychotherapy group—and in turn finds human connection, and herself.Christie Tate had just been named the top student in her law school class and finally had her eating disorder under control. Why then was she driving through Chicago fantasizing about her own death? Why was she envisioning putting an end to the isolation and sadness that still plagued her despite her achievements? Enter Dr. Rosen, a therapist who calmly assures her that if she joins one of his psychotherapy groups, he can transform her life. All she has to do is show up and be honest. About everything—her eating habits, childhood, sexual history, etc. Christie is skeptical, insisting that that she is defective, beyond cure. But Dr. Rosen issues a nine-word prescription that will change everything: “You don’t need a cure. You need a witness.” So begins her entry into the strange, terrifying, and ultimately life-changing world of group therapy. Christie is initially put off by Dr. Rosen’s outlandish directives, but as her defenses break down and she comes to trust Dr. Rosen and to depend on the sessions and the prescribed nightly phone calls with various group members, she begins to understand what it means to connect. Group is a deliciously addictive read, and with Christie as our guide—skeptical of her own capacity for connection and intimacy, but hopeful in spite of herself—we are given a front row seat to the daring, exhilarating, painful, and hilarious journey that is group therapy—an under-explored process that breaks you down, and then reassembles you so that all the pieces finally fit.

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There’s a book called Red Flags in Psychotherapy. It’s often used as a text for ethics units in counselling.

Instead of calling Christie Tate’s memoir, Group, let’s call it Red Flags in Psychotherapy Part Two.

Group chronicles Tate’s experience in group therapy over a number of years. She sought therapy after struggling with an eating disorder, thoughts of death, and because she had trouble maintaining meaningful relationships.

Firstly, I’m glad for Tate that she benefited from her long and extensive therapy experience (which peaked at three sessions a week). In her acknowledgments, she thanks her therapist, Dr. Rosen, noting that she has paid him so much money over the years that he could afford a luxury yacht, however, he gave her a ‘life’, and she figures that’s a fair exchange.

Secondly, and importantly, Tate’s experience is in no way an account of ethically-run group therapy (or any therapy). There are so many boundary violations in this book that I lost count (start with the disclosure; the ‘prescriptions’; the physical contact). Boundary violations are synonymous with unethical practice; are damaging for the client; and can be career-ending for the therapist. I don’t understand how Dr. Rosen is in practice.

The group, an open group, ran on the basis of full disclosure – no secrets, tell everyone everything, and group members can discuss the sessions with whomever they like. Dr. Rosen questioned why people were so invested in privacy, and said –

Group Christie Tate

Keeping secrets from other people is more toxic than other people knowing your business.

Christie Tate Blog

Furthermore –

Holding on to secrets is a way of holding shame that doesn’t belong to you.

To a certain extent I agree with these ideas. However, shame is very, very tricky territory, and often associated with trauma. And managing trauma is a very, very specialised part of therapy. On that basis alone, I can’t recommend this book (but if you are interested in shame, listen to Monica Lewinsky’s TED Talk or delve into the writing of Brené Brown).

1.5/5 Half a mark for the bit about the engagement ring, which had me saying aloud, “Oh my frickin’ god… is this a cult?”

Tate goes to her therapist’s house for dinner (IKR?), where she was served roasted carrot soup.